Life Conflicts and/or Career Issues

The above can arise because of lack of internal direction. We tend to observe others and behave according to the social rules thus forgetting about our authentic self. Also, add the social media and the promotion of independence in the western world, and you will get a confusion, anger and shame cocktail, which we mask in different ways (various addictions including working long hours or exercising excessively, or even talking!). We want acceptance because we as babies and children, were totally dependent on our caregivers. We learnt to adapt and carried this skill to the adulthood. The level acceptance from the caregivers were detrimental to our lives, hence the adaptations got ingrained in our brains.

Unfortunately, not all adaptations are functional in our adult lives. Because of the maladaptations, now we may not be able to choose the right career or a suitable life partner for us, we might overstay in toxic situations, workplaces, relationships, households, friendships, we may feel torn: “Do I prefer polygamy or do I want to stay in an exclusive relationship”, and so on. By maladaptation, I mean lack of internal direction, internal conflict, poor boundaries, being underpaid, poor work-life balance, not being aware of your personal values and so living outside of the structure, which is pertinent to you only.